Revolutionary War Movies

Barnidge: American students are historically ill-informed, so to speak

Perhaps you read the alarming news last week: American youngsters don't know squat about American history.

They scored just fine on Facebook, Twitter and Angry Birds, but they were as lost as a hog in a beauty parlor when it came to the Revolutionary War.

Only 35 percent of fourth-graders tested by the National Assessment of Educational Progress knew the purpose of the Declaration of Independence. Most of them thought it was a movie prop that Nicolas Cage used to find hidden treasure.

The majority of high school seniors were unable to identify North Korea's ally in the Korean War, although we hesitate to judge them too harshly. Not even Sarah Palin knows this answer.

Students' overall proficiency in history ranked about the same as congressional approval ratings: 20 percent for fourth-graders, 17 percent for eighth-graders and 12 percent for high school seniors.

This means not only are our kids stupid, they're getting stupider as they get older.

Then again, the questions were incredibly difficult.

Fourth-graders were asked in which war the U.S. fought against Adolf Hitler and Germany. As often as America jumps into wars these days, it's difficult to keep track.

Eighth-graders were asked to identify the first U.S. president. They probably thought it was a trick question. What are the odds he'd have the same name as the nation's capital?

Clearly, it's time to rethink the way we teach our youngsters. We need to get their attention. If they're dozing off during tests, we need to provide them with more entertaining questions:

1. What was the Battle of the Bulge?

(a) A belly-bump between legendary fatties Ben Franklin and John Adams, with the winner becoming a lecherous inventor and the loser settling for the presidency;

(b) San Francisco supervisors' assault on the fast-food industry, in which toys were removed from children's entrees to create Unhappy Meals;

(c) The expression that judge Bruno Tonioli used to describe Kirstie Alley's first attempt at the rumba on "Dancing With the Stars."

2. What is Paul Revere remembered for?

(a) Creating fine cookware that's often given to new brides, who return it for store credit because they microwave all their meals;

(b) Wearing outlandish clothing and a silly smile while leading a wacky rock 'n' roll band in the 1960s and '70s;

(c) Ringing bells and firing warning shots to alert the British that they couldn't take away our guns because there would be a Second Amendment some day.

Exposed Post: Texas Senator Compares TSA Fight To Revolutionary War

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